Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007 at 7:57 pm

Floods

Headline “Paris released from prison sparks UK Floods”.

The trouble with Britain today is, there is a terrible Blame culture. And I want to know, who’s fault this is. I do actually know who’s fault it is of course, I just wanted to start today’s Blog with that really weak joke. It is of course the fault of the lazy “Paris Hilton obsessed and catering to the lowest common denominator” media. I am surprised the media have not come up with the following during the floods of June and July:

Is it just me or was the weather better under Tony Blair? Britain has switched from the reign of Tony Blair to the rain of Gordon Brown etc.

Whether you like Tony or not (I am not a big fan), you have to agree that towards the end of his rule he was being blamed for events which he was clearly not guilty of. The media were obviously running out of genuine reasons to have a go at Blair. For example the TV News chased him for 3 days back in January, asking for his comments on the leaked video phone pictures of Saddam Hussein’s hanging. Obviously he would say it was undignified. What did the press expect him to say ? – did they expect Tony to say “Well it was a bit boring, how about we make it more “you’ve been framed” – next time, instead of hanging, how about, trampoline and ceiling fan – what do you think?”. I suppose we knew it was coming to the end of his term when in February the BBC covered a story asking Blair to apologise for the (wait for it) ….Slave Trade. And this from the most respected TV company in the world. Yes, in other countries, the TV stations are badly editing documentaries to make important figures seem moody and also faking the winners to competitions on children’s programmes. We laugh at your silly countries with your corrupt ways.

Anyway, back to the weather. Is it Global Warming,? Of course it is. We will not accept it though. The problem is, we started too weakly with the warnings in the early days. In the 1990’s it was called “The Greenhouse Effect”, that scared nobody (and confused people who only read the headline and then started asking how many greenhouses Tony Blair had). Now we have switched to the amber alert of the words “Global Warning”. Well, “global” sounds like it is everybody’s fault and so not specifically ours and when we mention the word “warming” in Britain, all people think of is, “Corr what a scorcher, Emma 23, enjoys ice cream on the beach at Bournemouth”. So that is not an incentive for us to limit our carbon footprint, as Emma also points out that the Labour promise of 2004 was to spend on flood defence systems in high risk areas, and as she clearly states, this has not come to fruition.

They say we should learn from history so haven’t we learnt anything from the cigarette warnings which also started too weakly in the 1970’s with warnings on the side of packets stating “smoking may give you a slight cough” up to the present day warnings of “Are you all idiots?- we told you SMOKING KILLS – now go outside you disgust me”. I think the majority of the people in Britain would only consider changing their ways, if Emma 23 (with ice cream melting) announces on Page 3 “Run the Universe is on fire”. Although most people would double check to see if it was true by reading Paris Hilton’s views on the subject in Heat magazine with its catchy headline of “Universe is hot but not as hot as our August issue”.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.