Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Saturday, July 28th, 2007 at 11:58 am

Clients

Well, still no internet.  The engineer (who I am now sure, was from Seaburn, I am never wrong on accents) was unable to fix the problem.  He tried all the tasks I had already done the day before using only my scientific brain and a series of control experiments to rule out potential problems.  This sounds impressive doesn’t it?  But really it means, I switched the computer off, and then I switched it on again and I did the same with my wireless router.  Only then did I telephone all my friends who were up to chapter 2 of “internet for dummies”.  Anyway, I have a very good friend of ours coming around to fix the problem this afternoon.  Thank you Paul, we would struggle without you.

So the logistics for my travel at the weekend have now been sorted (I have checked none are flooded).  I love the travelling part of my job (best on the train but car is good too).  It is just the whole thing of looking forward to seeing a new venue and meeting with (almost without fail) lovely people who have taken the effort to book me for their event.  This is not a joke, I genuinely feel honoured to help make their function a success.  I work extra hard on my prep these days, as I am competing with TV performers who, working through agents, are charging an “arm and a leg” for their 45 minute stage act (and of course asking for Riders*).

I was once at a function where a guest speaker (I won’t say who) had simply used his generic act.  There was nothing specific about the company he was addressing and it seemed all he had done was change the company name from his last booking to the company name of his performance that night.  Maybe the audience did not spot this unforgivable lack of real homework but certainly they were not laughing.  He even did a shorter set (thank God) because the event had been delayed.

Being the crowd pleasing idiot that I am, I am always flexible and the “waiting around” time is never a chore.  Often when waiting I will get extra information I can use in my act.  Also totally unsolicited, I will receive the offer of a future booking in this waiting time.  For example, sometimes I will be talking to the guests about sport and one of them will suddenly remember that his golf club in Hampshire is having a function and would I be able to perform there.  Result.

In Edinburgh a few years ago, I was speaking with a comedian, who said he did not like having his (FREE) breakfast in the hotel with the guests the day after the evening function.   Again, this is an excellent time to receive offers of bookings.  Anyway, if it was a free bar the night before, you should be the only one able to string a few words together.  I imagined this comedian ignoring the free meal at his luxury hotel and rushing to a converted caravan in a lay-by to BUY a botulism breakfast.  These eateries are generally called things like Snax – which is not even a joke now, what with it being the correct text spelling.  Mind having said that, the other day I was in Somerset and I saw a food caravan called “Breakfast at Timothy’s” and I did want to stop but only to congratulate the owner on such a great name.

*Riders are non financial rewards given to the acts in lieu of extra cash.  They can vary from train tickets pre-paid to a 5 star hotel room and a full evening meal on the top table.  I usually insist my hotel room is painted red and white and no one is to make eye contact but then that is just me.  Don’t even get me started on red M and M’s being in my green room

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.