Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Sunday, July 29th, 2007 at 8:03 am

The blog from bed

It is another early start, 5-30 a.m. – finally the rain has stopped, in fact it is the sun that has woken me (usually it is my highly motivated and extremely disciplined wife).  I am a good husband and say nice things about my wife, don’t I? Although it is strange how married couples speak to each other in private isn’t it?  Insults you would never say to another human being – even dogs would be saying “hey! that was not called for”.  It is of course mainly light hearted but the words little idiot do crop up too often.  At least we aren’t one of those couples who disrespect (I am older than 15 so can’t bring myself to say Diss) their partner in public.  I am usually forgiving of such couples if I think it is just an unresolved argument settling.  But really it is not on, when everything the poor bloke says is greeted with the superior look and the accompanying Phil Mitchell sigh (No I don’t watch Eastenders, I just watched “Harry Hill’s Burp” taking the mickey out of the deviant thespian displaying all his acting skills).

Anyway like I said it was the sun that woke me – yes the sun finding the only gap in our otherwise blacked out bedroom.  It has started to find this gap at 4-30 a.m. until 6 a.m.  My wife says I should wear complimentary airplane black out eye covers, which make you look like an Irish Lone Ranger (arhh I do love an old 1970’s Irish joke – relax it is post modern irony).  I refuse to wear them as it is a slippery slope to an orthopaedic bed and walk in bath.

They say that the best time for creative writing (and exercise) is first thing in the morning.  So here I am writing today’s blog (and hopefully some hilarious new material) from my bed (you try telling your boss you would like to do the same – see what he says).  And of course I will use this as my excuse for not exercising – brilliant, what a clever (soon to be overweight) genius I am.

Nothing starts without coffee though, so the secret will be to get down the stairs and pick up a breakfast tray before all the great comedy bits slip from my head.  I make some quick notes (in fact these ones here) and rush downstairs.  I return making a note to set out breakfast tray the night before, as it took too long and I am sure some comedy nuggets must have filtered out by now (I also make note not to make bad gold mining analogies).

I have just realised I am taking this blog really seriously.  Although I suppose I should try to make it interesting so as you read it.  But on the other hand, it is only meant to kick start me to write top comedy which I can then seamlessly weave into my stand up act.  It is not meant to end up as a day by day autobiography to be used if I achieve a certain level of fame.

People often ridicule such autobiographies saying some of the “authors” are too young.  I don’t.  In fact I can’t wait for Kerry Katona’s second one titled “surviving the break in”.  And people quite wrongly had a go at Charlotte Church.  Well I can tell you that I have read Don Estelle’s autobiography and no where did it say “when I was 13, I granted the pope an audience with me”.

I get out of bed again and trip over my Derren Brown Book.  My wife saw it in Waterstones and thought I would like it.  I was ungrateful and said it was only for laymen (oh yes, we have a name for you).  I secretly read it anyway as Derren and Andy Nyman (the other brain behind the wonderful channel 4 series) are really nice guys (although I am sure they made me say that – I just realised that this joke only works if I say the words “are really nice guys” in a slow “as if I was hypnotised” way).  Andy’s son Preston is an 8 year old stand up comedian (it is a young man’s game these days I can tell you)*.  Preston is very funny although he lacks authenticity with his husband and wife material – I mean Preston, a man would never say that to his wife.  Kids ehh.

*check out the wonderful “James Campbell stand up comedy for kids”

One Response to “The blog from bed”

  1. Trish Says:

    Hey Don I found, I read and I liked your website and blog! Good luck for the rest of the Festival and love to Ranj.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.