Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Monday, July 30th, 2007 at 8:07 pm

Online again at last

Well finally the internet is back on.  When it was off I thought I should really go on a computer course so I know what the hell I am doing.  But when the internet is reconnected I think I have better things to do than learn the complicated ways of I.T..  Mind, having said that, Paul (my computer guru friend) did fix my connection by putting a pin in the back of my router and twiddling it.  Yes the problem was solved as simply as resetting a £1.99 petrol station digital watch – who would have thought?  So now my computer knowledge is increased to, A. Switching the computer off, then switching it on again, and B. The twiddling of the pin in the router – who needs a course, I am practically an expert.

I have to admit my wife was right as the complimentary airplane eye covers are working a treat.  Also when I go to the toilet in the night, I like to slip them on to the top of my head and if I squint I look like I have a full head of hair.  Tempted to get a wig I stop squinting and realise it looks like someone has painted my head – not so good.

I have a great wife (remember she bought me the Derren Brown book) – even though she was going to work early I still get a flask of coffee by my bedside.  She is being extra nice to me after Friday night.  It was one of those business and pleasure mixing incidences – you know what I mean – the old “oh I am in Newcastle on Friday I finish at 10:30 what say I pick you up after your firm’s night out at say 10:45”.  What could possibly go wrong with that well intentioned offer?  Well, when I arrived they had lost one of their revellers (a young very attractive trainee).  To cut a long story short, I was still looking for a beautiful 20 year old blonde at 1am in the morning (and not in a good Rod Stewart sort of way neither).  This was my busiest weekend of the year with 4 gigs (and lots of travelling) still to do over the weekend – I was not happy.

I should point out this is a real one off for my wife who prefers reading to going out and getting hammered (she even misses rounds and occasionally drinks water during the evening).  She will never pass herself off as a Geordie with those shenanigans.  No my wife is an educated lady, who has more books than the Sunderland branch of Waterstones (don’t be making your own jokes up there).

Anyway, she has to be good to me because I am going into hospital this morning to make an operation appointment for September.  I have an athletic injury (even young people get this injury) Ok it is a hernia, but I refuse to talk about it being “routine surgery” as that always reminds me of Billy Crystal’s talk to the school children in “City Slickers” when he lapses into the depressing parts of the ageing process.

I hope I don’t have to wear the backwards gown – that is just embarrassing – surely the doctors know not all problems can be solved going in that way.  Put it this way, I will be very disappointed if the doctor asks me to bend over and approaches twiddling a pin and saying “I learnt this from an I.T. expert”.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.