Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Monday, August 6th, 2007 at 12:30 pm

Stags

Yesterday was Sunday and I decided to have a day off.  I had got back from my weekend in Birmingham at 2:30am on Sunday morning.  It would have been earlier, only I was held up in the city centre.  It was a very interesting traffic jam as it went through the party area of Birmingham. Chairs and tables were out on the street in a café culture type of way (not because there was a fight inside). 

I do like to see people enjoying themselves.  There was a group of “Hens” blowing whistles and wearing pink cowboy hats.  Some of the ladies looked like the ones in that awful Eastenders’ advert on the BBC.   Surely, these ladies didn’t just look at this tawdry trailer for the flagging soap and say “that is good enough for us – we shall all go dressed as Cockney Slappers”.  Come on girls make some effort, last month I was in Newquay and the “groom to be” had been made to carry a 10 foot inflatable cock (with quite impressive detailing down the side) around with him. I laughed as the bouncers let the stag party in, however they insisted the massive synthetic member must stay outside the club. I overheard one of the Stags say “What if someone steals it?” He hadn’t really thought that one through.

Talking of Stags, I feel honoured to have been asked to go on an extended Stag weekend in Magaluf for my very good friend Michael Murray (a top bloke and great inventor of magic effects). I can’t go unfortunately, as I have bookings I can’t get out of – shame really as I was hoping to convert them all to radio 4 and vegetarian restaurants. They are all going dressed as Superheros – probably best I don’t go, as the last time I pretended to have powers that I didn’t really have, it did not work out so well (see mugging anniversary blog).

In my time I have witnessed the evolution of “The Stag”.  In 1975 the groom would have two drinks the night before his wedding day (three drinks if he was marrying the wrong woman).  However by 1977 it was de rigueur to get absolutely hammered. This behaviour did not even achieve £250 for the groom when he collapsed at the altar (video cameras were still to be financially viable).  In 1979 a law was introduced stating all stag parties must take place at least one week before the wedding day.  Again this did not last long – many wedding photos from the early 80’s were ruined due to black eyes and bandages (not to mention the hairstyles and Magnum* moustaches) and in 1982 talk of broken hands changed the way we planned stag nights forever. Now the Stag weekend or week should take place at least one month before – thus allowing for “fight with the best man” injuries to heal.  Some settle for three months before the wedding, as some “Nee body spills my pint” injuries can take longer to repair. In 1999 the law clearly stated Amsterdam or Europe and must involve at least two generations of Stags. This is quite obviously disturbing and wrong.

*Tom Selleck not the ice cream

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.