Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 at 1:34 pm

What else have you got?

Well, I hope by now, you have taken my advice and BOUGHT TICKETS to see some great theatre and stand up shows at the Edinburgh Festival 2007.  I really hope you haven’t just been hanging around the Royal Mile watching the FREE jugglers and pretending to put money into the mime’s hat (ignore what I said earlier about that – they  really don’t like it). Free shows are great, but remember, when something is free; it is generally free for a reason.  Today, I overheard someone say, as they left a venue, “I know it was free, but I still want some money back”.  I suppose they had a point after all, “time is money”.

Talking about getting money back, I was speaking with my friend who works at the Gilded Balloon, and she said that an audience member had seen the “Puppetry of the Penis” and had asked for their money back, claiming, wait for it……..he did not know it was going to be about THAT.  Now the flyer for POTP clearly states that it is the art of genital origami.  Even the financial times reviewed it, saying “does exactly what it says on the packet”.  And, as if more evidence was needed (which it is not): the poster outside the venue, shows; two Australian men, naked, apart from sunglasses, white socks and capes (see, I told you, capes are fashionable). 

Now, I am so heterosexual I have never been to this show, but I won’t let that fact, stop me explaining what I think the show is all about (other people have confirmed my assumptions).  What happens is, the two men bend and squeeze their genitals – this is where I am a bit unsure, as I don’t know, if they contort their own genitals or if there is a reciprocal arrangement going on – however it is fair to say, that cock and balls are being manipulated in the name of entertainment (this is Edinburgh, they may even be passing it off as Art as well – after all, they apparently title every display as if it were an exhibit, for example “bulldog from behind” and “mushroom cloud” (yes me too, the image is enough, I don’t need to see the show, I can picture it, thank you).  This makes me wonder, at what point into the performance, did the man think? “Hey wait a minute, this is not gentle origami”.

Anyway, I am aware that many of you aren’t going to the festival, this year (or probably any other year).  And that is a good choice – Scottish weather, millions of tourists, no hotel rooms, I can’t really blame you.  So why do performers turn up in their droves? Two words – Industry people (by that I mean TV people, reviewers and award judges).  This is the sole reason so many acts come to the festival for the whole month.  It is like a three dimensional “myspace” for comedians and acting types (if you are reading this in 2008, “myspace” was the fore runner of “facebook”). 

Some of the acts are the complete article, with lots to offer TV companies (and some are not).  By this I mean, you need a lot of strings to your bow (two bows would be even better).  Because one day you are going to be asked that dreaded question (which industry people like to ask after they have seen your act), the question being ………“So, what else have you got?”  These days, it is not enough just to be good at one thing.  For example, if you are a stand up comedian you should also be working on a script for a play and / or a book, sitcom or game format etc etc.

Now if you forgive me, I have to practice my “hamburger” and “windsurfer” (that last one must get easier with age).

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.