Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Friday, August 17th, 2007 at 4:17 pm

Cultcha, oh yes!

This morning, I woke up, thinking, Newcastle should run an Art’s festival – why not?  We have culture.  I do get very optimist in the mornings and it is very early, it is 9:50 am (yes I know, almost like having a proper job, getting up at that time).  Anyway, I am gigging in the North of England, over the weekend, and I have to catch the Virgin cross country at 12:05 from Waverley station, which stops at Newcastle.  I hope I don’t fall asleep on the train, as I am not sure how many stops there are between Newcastle and Bristol.

 I have a leisurely breakfast at a really good café, just off St. Andrew’s Square, then, I get on the train.  My ticket allows me the privilege of finding a seat of my liking.  That sounds a lot better than, “I purchased a really cheap Pover ticket, which doesn’t allocate me a seat number”, didn’t it?  Anyway, it was good, as I sit down next to Russell Howard’s mother (Nanette, a very nice lady) and we chat until Newcastle.  Russell is the young blonde comedian on “Mock the week”).
So that was the very pleasant part of the journey: now I had to make a short journey on the “Metro” (The North East’s own “Tube” type rail service).  If you haven’t been on the Newcastle Metro, let me tell you, it is a very clean and comfortable means of transport and most people treat it with respect.  Having said that, it does run an almost honesty box method of travel, as in, you buy your ticket, but the ticket doesn’t do the opening of turnstile gates, as it does on the London Underground.  So unless you are asked for your ticket by an inspector, some people are getting their own free taxi.  So you can imagine the type of clientele that latch on to this little freebee.

Anyway, I buy my ticket and get on the Metro at Central Station to be greeted by a stare.  It is a lad (I will let you label him) about the age of 17 and he is staring at me in a threatening way. He wants me to react, so I do – I give him a “pleased to see you” smile and say a “Cameron style” hello, stopping short of hugging him, obviously.  He doesn’t smile back and doesn’t look away but I can see by his dilated pupils that he is on drugs.  I give up my seat for an old lady*.  As soon as the train starts moving, one of the starer’s mates starts playing music far too loud.  I walk up to the lad and say hello and ask if he could turn the music down.  This is something my wife insists I should never do, as she thinks, I will be added to the seasonally high murder figures (around at the moment caused by people talking to adolescents).  He turns the music down but I can see the starer is not pleased and is trying to egg on his mate to turn it up, while still staring me out.  Oh yes, City of Culture runners up to Liverpool – bring on a festival.
*I am guessing that there will be a time in the next twenty years or so, when somebody will think I am at the age where I deserve their seat – I am sure I will be confused with emotions, being both pleased with the seat, yet annoyed that I look old enough to be considered for such good will.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.