Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007 at 3:49 pm

How do people live like that?

So, I am travelling back to Edinburgh today for the third time this festival (one year I will stay up all the time).  I got a great deal on my train ticket and I am not sure how.  I usually pay the full price for my travel, as I receive bookings for gigs at the last minute and I always delay my decision as to when to go to the festival.  However, last night I booked on the internet and got two singles (which were cheaper than the return, how does that work?) at a reasonable price.  The tickets were for standard class obviously; my travel costs (and accommodation costs) tend to vary greatly, depending whether my wife is travelling with me.  I am not sure of the price differential between chalk and cheese, let’s just say – me travelling by myself, pound shop, me travelling with my wife, Harrods.

I have an incident free trip on the still very clean Metro.  It is obviously too early in the morning for the youngsters on drugs I encountered on my last trip back from Edinburgh.

I pick up my bargain tickets from one of the many fast ticket machines and start planning replies to my booking enquiry emails (on paper first).  This is 2007 and I am going to use my modern gadgets to save time and maximise my business – I laugh at you with your office bound jobs.  I get on the train and my MDA won’t send or receive so I read the papers instead.

England is exceptionally green this year (maybe somebody reading this can tell me why).  I say England we are now at Berwick, it has lovely bridges.  Let me get this straight, Berwick is in the Scottish Football league, yet it is an English town (most northern English town probably, unless you know different).  Oh, it has switched in the past from English to Scottish and back, and you would think their lovely bridges would be worth fighting over – where is Mel Gibson when you need him ehh?  “You’ll never take our freedom – what? Yeah, you can keep Berwick” – not a snappy end to a movie.

I arrive at the flat and find everyone still in bed.  I decide to tidy the flat as Jane the lady who lets the flat has arrived to wait for a workman who has given the vague 9am until lunchtime (anytime between) promise.  I always feel a bit like the Jack Lemmon character in the film “The odd couple” when I am in Edinburgh.  I tidy as I go.  I don’t insist on coasters for the tea mugs but this is mainly because after two days it is difficult to find the coffee table.

This always reminds me of a story Jerry Seinfeld tells about the Glenn Miller Band.  The story goes: the Glenn Miller Band are on tour and their aeroplane is forced to land in a field in heavy snow.  The band has to carry all their instruments through the deep snow and walk miles to their destination.  As they are walking they see ahead of them a beautiful detached house with the smoke coming out of the chimney.  They approach, soaked to the skin and freezing; they look through the window and see a perfect family scene.  There is the Christmas tree with presents around, there is the mother, father, and two well behaved children sitting around a full table with a lovely fire roaring away.  And one of the band members says to the other ones “How do people live like that?”

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.