Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 at 9:36 am

Unicycle mentality

So, Britain had really sunny weather on Bank Holiday Monday.  We go mental in this country when that happens, don’t we?.  “What should we do? it is sunny, how have we nothing planned?”  “Grab the bikes, we will cycle to the Lakes, no, we will drive to a restaurant near water, no we’ll landscape the garden while drinking wine and smoking cigars, buy a unicycle, I know LETS DO IT ALL”.  We just panic, as if we have not seen a Bank Holiday, ever.

Anyway, yesterday my wife and I work through our options and finally decided (about lunchtime) to go out for the day, to Durham.  It gave us time to catch up on the important things in life – apparently there was a very rude girl on X factor who lost it when she was told she had a bad attitude.  She went mental and swore at the judges, I assume, to prove her point, that she did not have a bad attitude.  We talked about other things too, and really enjoyed the day.

So with the festival over, it is back to preparing for this weekend’s gigs and normality.  I am definitely going to get fit for the next two weeks as I want to be in peak condition when I go in to hospital.  Yes, my sports injury “that could happen to a young person” operation is coming up quicker than I thought.  I had asked to have my “belly button hernia” operation in January 2008, so as I would not miss out on too much work.  However, the NHS has targets and quotas so it is September 10th.  In a normal job you would probably be happy for the break, but to a self employed person (that’s me) it is not good news.  I have passed work on to friends for the days I can’t make.  It is a bit annoying because I will be in and out in a day, yet, I can’t make an emergency stop for about 6 weeks; so I can’t drive and have rearranged to travel to gigs (with very light luggage) by train.  So that should be fun.

I know I am getting old, but I don’t feel old.  I watched Richard Herring’s show in Edinburgh and he was going on about being old and he is only 40.  I was thinking I didn’t start playing my best tennis until I was 45, and had a washboard stomach (well a washboard-ish stomach) at 40 – what on earth is he banging on about.

There are the tell tale signs, for example, I use the word washboard when no one under 30 has heard of one, and also the other night at the Gilded Balloon party there was a free bar all night, and I went home at 2:15 am (that is early for Edinburgh) having had only three small beers.  Also, I am finding it very difficult to decide what to wear when I go out casually.  I obviously can’t wear a T shirt with writing on – it is just wrong after the age of 37, not as wrong as overweight ladies in low slung jeans, but still wrong.
But apart from the using of out of date words, going home early sober and procrastination over my wardrobe choices I feel just as young as I ever did.  Now if you forgive me I have to pluck my ear hair.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.