Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Sunday, September 2nd, 2007 at 11:32 am

London’s World’s End

I hope you enjoyed Rob, our decorator, standing in for me yesterday.  That is right, he is a nice bloke.  I haven’t read his blog entry yet; I hope he didn’t just bang on about my poor sanding techniques, or the fact that the “spell check” keeps second guessing him.

Well, it is Sunday morning and the house looks fresh* unlike me.  I was using trains and taxis as my method of transport last night, so by law, had to have a drink.  Yes, after the gig, not before; see my blog on dangers of this.

I met up with my wife and friends and only had a few drinks (not several, I can’t be more specific than that surely); so must be a bit out of practise.  I used to over indulge, however, nowadays I am a real born again sober** and sanctimoniously frown on you heavy drinkers.  I think this is because I look back on all the time I wasted as a youth (youth age ends at 43, right?). 

Don’t even get me started on why anyone would want to do drugs.  I remember being asked when I was a kid, if I wanted to take some drugs (I don’t know which type of drug it was, as I have not done a degree, in names used as euphemisms for illegal drugs).  The guy said I should try it because, I would be able to sit around with my friends laughing about things which weren’t even funny; I told him I had that one covered, thanks.

I don’t take drugs but I have seen all the adverts for the use of drugs provided by the media.  I particularly like the one which says “take drugs and you get to go out with Kate Moss”.  If I were a youngster today, I would be seriously confused and possibly think drugs are an option; what with recently discovering the Lynx deodorant does not live up to its’ advert’s promise.

Last year, I was going to a stand up comedy gig in London.  I can’t remember the tube stop, but it comes out at the appropriately named “World’s End” public house, frequented by Goths.  It could have been North London, I am never quite sure of my Norths and Souths in London, what with the Thames being so curly (you have seen the start of Eastenders).  Anyway, as I left the tube station, in the space of two minutes, I was approached four times by badly dressed people, mumbling “do you want some “mumble mumble / obscure euphemism” drugs?”***.  They could not have been more obvious if they had a cardboard sign on a stick, with the word “Golf” crossed out, and the word Drugs written in its’ place.  I mean, how can’t we stop this kind of behaviour in the UK?  Now if you excuse me I am off to buy my Daily Mail.
*I haven’t told my wife that Rob did all the things on my “to do, when I get time” list.  However, I don’t think she is reading my blog, so I should be able to pass them off as my handy work.  I don’t want her thinking I wasted my money on my leather tool belt.

** Well, I say sober, not quite – a bit like a vegetarian who eats fish.

*** My friend Patrick Monahan does a great bit in his comedy set, about a guy asking him, if he would like to buy a skunk.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.