Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 6:11 pm

Even Steven

If you have read my latest news for February, on my home page, you will know about my “pride before a fall” fears.  I would even say that this applies to everyday stuff.  You know, the kind of things we try to plan for, but ultimately have no control over.  Take today for instance:

With my meticulous plans made, I set off for London, no need for a taxi I had checked the weather (told you they were meticulous); it is a very sunny (15 degrees) February day.  The walk to the station, of course, being part of my “built into life” fitness programme, I mentioned in an earlier blog.
I get to the metro station and buy a ticket as my train just comes into view.  I have the right money; no ticket machine malfunction.  Perfect, I step onto the train as if I had just ordered an over elaborate stretch yellow taxi.  I sit down right next to the place where luggage can be stored, how convenient is that?  The lad sitting next to me has an ipod, and how thoughtful is this? I can’t hear the buzzing noise from it, that is how good a day it is.  What could possibly go wrong?

The lad does have one of those Rod Stewart 1971 haircuts that seem to be all the rage with the modern teenagers.  Why they can’t get their own original haircuts, I mean!  I never had a Glenn Miller haircut in the 70’s, and that would have been the equivalent of a thirty year old, out of date, haircut then.

The train crosses the bridge and Newcastle looks brilliant – like a European capital, no, not because of the illiterate graffiti.  In fact, with the strong sunlight, you could be mistaken for being in Sydney, as Sydney’s landmark bridge was also made by Dorman Long, the company which built the Tyne Bridge.  And our new massive Sage music venue is not too dissimilar to their opera house.  Although, we in the North East, don’t have a drink culture and are never disrespectful of our women, so we win there obviously.

I pick up my luggage to prepare to leave the train at Central Station.  Now I have travelled the world and know that train etiquette is universal.  That is, train passengers on the train alight first, and then and only then, do platform passengers step onto the train.  So, I am about to step off, when three platform passengers try to push past me.  As a reminder of the system I deliberately walk into them.  I would just like to say in defence of all youngsters, that the people I carried on my elbows as I left the train were not teenagers but young men in their 20’s and 30’s.  I think the fact that I moved in silence must have been quite threatening, as no one said anything.  I resisted saying “Oh my God, doesn’t anyone have any manners” as I must have known it would sound like Frasier or Niles.

Was this a warning my ying was about to switch to my yang (it could be the other way round, I am not up on Buddhism).  Either way the answer was yes – see part two tomorrow.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.