Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Archive for April, 2008

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

I’ve a mind to tell you (but why?)

Where do thoughts come from?  I mean why do I think, “God, I hope I don’t say to this lady, that is an ugly baby” or, when I am in church, why do I think “I hope I don’t shout out I object”?  Where do such thoughts come from?
How can I remember the Sunderland promotion winning team from the 1960’s – (it was Montgomery, Irwin, Ashurst, Harvey, Hurley, McNab, Usher, Herd, Sharkey, Crossan and Mulhall, if you are interested) and yet ironically, when the song “Memories” comes on the radio I can’t remember the second line of the lyrics.

As I mentioned in a recent blog, the brain has its’ own agenda on what it cares to remember, and what it will drip feed back to you immediately you put the phone down on a call that required an immediate answer.

Listing that Sunderland team, strangely enough, has brought back memories of how quite appalling, yet incredibly exciting, the football terraces were in the 1960’s.  As a youngster I would have to get to the ground two hours before kick off to get prime spot.  Prime spot was, of course, just in front of the crash barrier, half way up the Roker End (never behind the crash barrier, unless you were the undisputed “pile on” champion of the world).

I also had to arrive completely dehydrated, as once 52,000 people had filled the ground, the chances of toilet visits and safe returns were patchy (not the only thing patchy).  Some fans, who hadn’t planned as well as me, also avoided the toilet visit by rolling up a newspaper and using it as a personal funnel; yes, not the best day for your new suede Hush Puppies.  I was ok in the early days, as I was standing on a cracket *,  I am not sure my dad was as lucky with “the rivers of wee” (a lesser known speech by Enoch Powell).

I was hooked on live football those days.  I couldn’t get enough.  As soon as I was at the correct height for my cracket to allow me a clear view, I was starting to go to games with my friends.  We even went to away games (not Leeds or Millwall we weren’t mental).  We used to get lifts to away games from people we didn’t even know.  There was no cosseted parental behaviour in those days; we even had to ask them if they had any sweets.  They were innocent times, no puppies to see, we were off to the match.

My last full year of watching Sunderland was 1973.  I have been back, but never as regularly as that Cup winning year.  You wouldn’t have read this blog to this point if you did not know the outcome of the Sunderland Leeds game of 1973, so you will remember that little old Sunderland beat the mighty Leeds.  Leeds in the early 70’s were the best and yet most hated football team in the land.  They were a very good but also very dirty team (nothing to do with hotels and girls, innocent times remember).  Their reputation was not helped by Norman “bites your legs” Hunter (parents were very imaginative with middle names in those days). 

My brother (my hero) was at college and bet his whole football team, individually, that Sunderland would beat Leeds.  How clever was he?  Not that clever really, as they were all even bets, and clearly he would have done far better at the bookies, and he did crash my motorbike and then chose not to tell me, as I later found out about it.  No really!  Where are these thoughts coming from?

* Cracket: a Geordie word for a small miner’s stool, which would elevate a four foot two boy to the dizzy height of five foot five at a football match; annoyingly though, it was just short of an unobstructed view).


Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.