Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 at 7:50 am

“Dead Cat Bounce”

OK, I am no expert, but this stock market crashing everyday (Read my blog about how this is being accelerated by people talking about how bad things are) has now gone too far.  Surely, it is time for what is known as, a “dead cat bounce” at least. 

As you will know, a “dead cat bounce” is when the market goes just a bit lower than anyone would ever expect (probably accelerated by people talking about how bad things are).  Because investors see this as a sign that the market has bottomed out, they can’t resist the bargain of cheap shares, which they will buy up quickly and then sell very quickly (greedy buggers). 

This slight upturn in the stock market graph is described well by the tasteless metaphor of a dead cat dropping to the ground, and even though it is dead (supposedly, like the stock market) it will bounce slightly.  Try this at home, I’ll give you a few minutes.

Well, did it bounce? No?  You probably have to jump up a little, and pretend you are celebrating a home run.  Have another go*.

Anyway, I just wish everyone would stop panicking.  I mean where is the “Great British, World War Two, stiff upper lipped, bottling up all our problems, and never mentioning them ever again” attitude?  Don’t even get me started on Darling’s eyebrows.
Of course, that’s just my opinion.  I could be wrong.

* No cats were harmed in the making of this blog entry – although if that black and ginger little sh*t goes anywhere near my blue tit box (not a euphemism) again I can’t be responsible for my actions.

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.