Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009 at 9:20 pm



I’m on a flight back from Southampton; we’ve just taken off.
Early morning travel is always exciting, all coffee and bad breath; those three hours of  darkness before the sun comes up are always special to me, it is as if I have stolen some time from the day.  At  the airport I was able to write up the gags that worked at last night’s gig – Yes, I know, it didn’t take long. 

I love quiet time.  I am not one of those performers who is “on” all the time, and I really do enjoy my privacy.  People who know me, understand, I am often alone but never lonely.  However, sometimes I do wonder if this is normal behaviour.

The South of England looks beautiful, all lit up, no wonder sixty-two million people choose to cram on to our small island.  Up through the suspiciously flat clouds, I look around the cabin.  I notice a very elderly gentleman, I saw him earlier at the airport; the flybe staff had made a fuss of him and he was very polite in return.  I imagined he was off to see one of his children – I remembered at the time thinking, I hope his children (offspring, is probably a better word, as the children in question would be about my age) are good to him and treat him with respect.

He trembles as he takes a drink of his tea.  We have just taken off, yet they are serving drinks; it is a very short flight, especially today.

Ten minutes in, the pilot announces that the plane will have to return to Southampton, as the door is not closed properly.   The captain uses his relaxing, Home County’s accent to imply this is a routine procedure – as in a “no problem, you sit back, I have this one covered” tone.  But everyone suspects, by the speed of his return, and the fact that the plane was quickly overrun with Fire staff, that it was probably not a good idea for the captain to dally too much.

Anyway, the door gets fixed by a professional-looking guy.  Thinking back, I am glad he looked professional, and that he didn’t just open it a couple of times and slam it really hard until he felt it was closed and then ask me to hold the handle to “make sure it doesn’t come loose again”; things have moved on from my Dad’s 1964 Triumph Herald.

Now, there is a part in the movie “Ace Ventura” when Jim Carey is on the telephone to Courtney Cox and he says “if I am not there at 9pm” pause “just wait longer”.  The reason I mention this, is because immediately after the  refuelling, almost everyone, except me, started using their phones to say, well basically, “just wait longer” to whoever was expecting them.  Some people even started complaining about the inevitable delay.  I was going to be working at a function much later that evening, so I was in no hurry.   

Anyway, the cabin crew were not happy; their smiles only just about covering their contempt for all on board.  An attractive stewardess addressed the passengers with the words “Could you please stop using your mobile phones” and as a seasonal after-thought, she added, “And could we all smile, it is Christmas Eve you know”.
As I sat there smugly, I suddenly realised it was Christmas Eve and that I too, wanted to make a call to a very special lady.  So, this is what it is like to be lonely.

In Loving Memory of Vera Lugton

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.