Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

Friday, April 10th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Circque du so late

This blog explains: How to get a free hotel room by using the power of the open question (a technique employed in sales and in magic).

Travelling around the UK, as I do, I tend to vary my accommodation (and on occasions I will “push the boat out” so to speak).  Recently, I was in the North West of England and decided to stay at a cross between a top hotel and a luxury apartment.  The lounge area alone made me feel a bit special; 5 stars living, indeed.

Now, before you think “Oh hark at him, lardee dah” I should point out that this was an end of tax year treat to me.  I have saved the country a fortune by staying with friends in London (if I had stayed in London hotels, the hotel costs could have been offset from my profit and I would have been able to pay less tax – a kind of Jacqui Smith’s husband in reverse).  Not to mention the savings the country made by my booking early on £29 travelodge rooms (which by the way are not great, sometimes very cold and more often than not have a dubious hair behind the door).  Ok, that is enough justification for one blog.

Anyway, I finished my prep for the gig (it was a Thursday night and my gig was on the Friday evening, however, I also had an early Friday morning meeting with a company for an exhibition project later in the year, so I wanted to be fresh) and I went to sleep at 11pm (oh yes rock and roll).

 At just past midnight I was woken by a noise from the next room.  No problem, I’ll just go back to sleep – I thought.  1:13am more noise this time much louder; the voices (there were a lot of them) I noticed, were Eastern European.  Again, I thought, it is not too late, and surely these guys will “turn in” shortly; my stereotyping had kicked in and I now imagined them to be plumbers crammed into one room to save money.  3:34am more noise; I was hacked off. 

Now, what you have to understand about Geordies is that one minute we are all “Ant and Deckish”, the next minute we just want to deck someone; think, Cheryl Cole reading The News of the World.  So, I got changed and went out in the corridor; their door was open.

Inside the room there were about 12 guys playing cards and, strangely, one bloke standing next to the door.  “Hey, lads, could you keep the noise down” I said firmly but friendly.  The guy at the door said a very loud NO, to which I replied “You ****ing what pal?

The largest guy stood up and walked to the door.  Unbelievably, I was still furious at the guy at the door and not the least bit scared.  Obviously, “extinction of the stupid” had overridden “survival of the fittest” as my default setting for danger (read this blog to find out how this has got me into trouble in the past).  Luckily for me, the guy was very calm and apologised for the noise and claimed “they would keep it down”.

The next day I asked reception for either a refund or a night in lieu (I was returning to the North West the next week, so, either option was good for me).  They offered me the latter and they also apologised for the guys who were the Cirque du Soleil troupe who all had separate rooms and had been winding down from their gig in Liverpool.

Thinking back, I am glad that I kept my voice down when I rang reception after the altercation with the guys in case they were holding a tumbler to the wall (…think about it..Oh come on, that was a good one!).

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Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.