Don Moses Comedy & Magic Blog - A light hearted look at life, comedy and magic.

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December 2nd, 2008

The Very Best of God

I recently watched an episode of Alan Partridge where Alan was asked for his favourite Beatles Album.  Alan replied with, “The Best of the Beatles”.  (Hold on, I have just found the clip on youtube – have a look, it is very funny.)

To someone my age, it is hilarious because as a teenager that answer would have been so uncool (by the way, saying “uncool” years ago was something your mum would say, and so was very uncool).  As schoolboys, we all had our set answers to such questions, e.g. “Beatles? – that’s easy White Album”, “Bob Dylan? got to be Blonde on Blonde”, etc.

Alan’s answer, although uncool, is probably the most logical and yet childlike answer to the question.  So, why am I mentioning this?  Well, the other night I was in Manchester in a lovely hotel watching a lovely hotel in India under siege.  I thought to solve this problem, we should really just have one religion for Planet Earth.  We should get all the different world religions around a table and come up with “The Very Best of God”; a compilation of all His best stuff from over the years.

You are probably saying, “No Don, the dispute is not over religion, it is about border disputes”.  Bull-poopoo, I live on a border, but I have never read a Berwick newspaper with the headline “Englishman gunned down for wearing “see-you Jimmy” hat.

No, we have got to get around a table and iron this thing out once and for all.  We need to agree on, and vote in, all the very best bits of every religion*.  I would love to hear the negotiations from that meeting:

“Well, ten is a suspiciously round number, can’t we at least upgrade “the coveting of the neighbour’s oxen” to Tractor style lawnmower?”
“You do realise, that after two and half months they wouldn’t still be virgins?, just so long as you know”.

Yes, then, and only then, can we united as a planet and start to build up hatred for aliens from far off galaxies; yeah we hate you, you stupid green bastards.

Of course, that is my opinion, I could be wrong.

*Best not invite Scientists; we don’t want the meeting to go on too long.  Also, best not ask Richard Dawkins for the same reason (ironically, I haven’t read “The God Delusion” as I don’t want to be indoctrinated by a book).  I notice that Amazon are able to deliver the book before Christmas; I am sure this is important to the recipient.

November 17th, 2008

The Quantum of Solace

Immediately after watching the Q of S* I thought it was OK; it was action packed as you would imagine, however, the film got better in my mind as my wife explained the story.  Basically, I watch Bond movies like a dog looking into a fire. 

We had gone to see the film, so my wife could ogle Daniel Craig **.  Being able to multi-task, my wife was able to follow the storyline and yet still perv at the same time.  As a man, I can’t do this, for example, if the incredibly beautiful news reader is on Sky Sports News I can’t concentrate on the vital information she is delivering (probably something about the Coventry goalkeeper stubbing his toe).

The film did get a little better in my mind, but not much.  It did not turn from rubbish to great with my wife’s explanation; unlike, a few years ago, when the film “Fight Club” did achieve this “Waldorf and Statler, Muppets in the theatre box” turnaround ***.  You know what I mean, it is that “Boo what an awful film!” to “What? Ed Norton is Brad Pitt? Oh that is good; what a GREAT movie” moment.

By the way, if you were expecting the “we were expecting you Mr. Bond” line, don’t be expecting it.  Also, there are no harpoon related gags, if you get my point.   Austin Powers obviously brought to an end this style of “eye brow raising, pun riddled, early 70’s” Bond movie.

No, today it is all about product placement inducing us to subliminally believe we can afford an Aston Martin DBS.  There was no subliminal advertising in the 1970’s Bond movies, although to be fair I did find myself buying a lot of cheese after one of Roger Moore films.
*People have been asking, what exactly does “Quantum of Solace” mean?  Well, Quantum of Solace means, the time between sitting down in the cinema and the time of the first crisp packet rattle.

** My friend Pete Thompson says, Daniel Craig is really just a good looking Peter Reid, discuss!


November 1st, 2008

Faulty Powers of the BBC 2


Watching the Ross/Brand saga unfold this week I was reminded of my favourite Gary Larsen cartoon (cut and pasted above):

I can’t explain why, I find this cartoon so funny.  Maybe, I just don’t see that punchline coming?  Or maybe, it is the victim’s overconfidence in frame three, which leads me (and the cartoon character) into thinking nothing could possibly go wrong here, surely?

So, why does this cartoon remind me of the Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand debacle?  Well, it is certainly not schadenfreude on my behalf, as I like both Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand.  I love their free-wheeling style of eloquent verbalisation of all of their thoughts at a moment’s notice.  Their humour really works and they are right to be confident.

Unfortunately, their poking fun at people went too far this time.  They believed that nothing could go wrong, hence the parallels with the cartoon.

The “hands behind the head” moment for Jonathan Ross was a few months ago when he said to Gwyneth Paltrow that he would definitely shag her.  Read my blog to see how concerned I was at the time.  He got away with this one, as he had done, when he asked Alastair Campbell (on air) if he had ever w***ed over Margaret Thatcher.  Unchecked for both of these incidents, Jonathan was left to cycle out of control, thinking he was safe.

Let’s face it, we (me included) are no different; every time we get a little cocky, we know life will turn up to say “Not so fast big guy”.  And “the loose screw on the exercise bike will drop out” to bring you down to earth. 

So, the only difference is, these guys are doing it in full view of everyone.  As the expression goes “Life is like learning the violin in public”. 

October 11th, 2008

No Mate THIS is a knife!

I assume writing a blog is very difficult if you are just staring at a sheet of A4.  To avoid this writer’s block I have a system.  In order to write a blog quickly, I have a shoe box full of bits of paper.  I actually have two shoe boxes (very rich man).  One box is for ideas for new material for comedy, as well as ideas for new magic effects and the other box is for blog ideas (and/or things that have happened to me).

So, tipping out the blog box today, I noticed an idea I have never addressed since it happened in January this year.  I wonder why I haven’t used it?  Anyway, let me see if I can describe what happened and, hopefully solve the question of it not being used until now.

The other night (early January 2008) I left a gig to walk to the Underground.  As I checked my wallet, I noticed I hadn’t packed my knife in my case and still had it in my jacket inside pocket.  I use a knife in my after dinner stage act as a prop (and not as protection if the gig goes tits up).

Walking the streets of London carrying a knife didn’t make me feel any safer.  Why would it?  I would never use it.  Although, it would be good to do that, “top trumps Crocodile Dundee” line when presented with a mugger with a smaller knife.

London has a lot of CCTV so I usually feel safe anyway.  Certain parts of London do have a “Bladerunner” feel to them; one particular area is the trendy area of Camden, where I had been performing that night.  The Gilgamesh on Chalk Farm Road, is a fabulous venue in this trendy part of our capital, but, it does have a strange “Raiders of the lost Ark” feel to its entrance with large flames burning at the start of an up escalator.  It could be worse; it could have the flames at the start of a down escalator (very Sodom and Gomorrah I would imagine).

Anyway, I was in my very best suit as I had just performed an after dinner spot for a group of city bankers from Canary Wharf   I should imagine they are not as happy now as they were in January. 

Walking the streets I became aware I was the only person out; it was midnight, but, surely someone would be out?  This is London; shouldn’t it be like New York, a city which doesn’t sleep?  I am from a village which gets its full 8 hours, but even I was surprised. 

I turned a corner to see a large number of policemen swarming (only bees and police swarm).  There were police on foot and police in very slow moving cars.  I really have no idea why there were so many police on the streets and did not feel it was my business to ask.  As I walked past, I was scrutinized with a very fine “scrute” (a small implement used by the police), yet not one of them stopped to ask me anything.  Probably just as well for me, as I was packing heat (that’s a gun isn’t it, sounds butch though?).

So, my advice to any criminal out there hoping to avoid arrest is to always dress impeccably and carry a case.  The police will never stop you; after all, it worked for Al Capone, although a violin case may draw attention these days.

I have just worked out why I never mentioned this in January, and it was probably because in January it was just too early to make light of knife crime.  Well, either that, or, nothing actually happens in the story and yet you still read it-gotcha.

October 7th, 2008

“Dead Cat Bounce”

OK, I am no expert, but this stock market crashing everyday (Read my blog about how this is being accelerated by people talking about how bad things are) has now gone too far.  Surely, it is time for what is known as, a “dead cat bounce” at least. 

As you will know, a “dead cat bounce” is when the market goes just a bit lower than anyone would ever expect (probably accelerated by people talking about how bad things are).  Because investors see this as a sign that the market has bottomed out, they can’t resist the bargain of cheap shares, which they will buy up quickly and then sell very quickly (greedy buggers). 

This slight upturn in the stock market graph is described well by the tasteless metaphor of a dead cat dropping to the ground, and even though it is dead (supposedly, like the stock market) it will bounce slightly.  Try this at home, I’ll give you a few minutes.

Well, did it bounce? No?  You probably have to jump up a little, and pretend you are celebrating a home run.  Have another go*.

Anyway, I just wish everyone would stop panicking.  I mean where is the “Great British, World War Two, stiff upper lipped, bottling up all our problems, and never mentioning them ever again” attitude?  Don’t even get me started on Darling’s eyebrows.
Of course, that’s just my opinion.  I could be wrong.

* No cats were harmed in the making of this blog entry – although if that black and ginger little sh*t goes anywhere near my blue tit box (not a euphemism) again I can’t be responsible for my actions.

October 1st, 2008

Self fulfilling prophecy

Well you can say what you like about the latest financial crisis, at least it is keeping down the numbers of stabbings.  If you remember when knife crime was in the news, the number of stabbings actually increased as a result of the hysterical media coverage.  Every detail was explained, right down to where the knife was probably bought (I am not sure, but, they may have even had a link to QVC to show the different ranges of knives, I didn’t watch all the channels).

God only knows, what the reports of a dishevelled Pete Doherty, taking drugs and yet still able to date a beautiful supermodel, did to our youth.  I know what I would be doing if I was a horny impressionable teenager.  Don’t even get me started on how much extra work Kate Moss has picked up after the public were informed of her drug habit.  When is the media going to realise most people out there are unable to distinguish between the real news and a “claims direct” advert.  The news should be just that, “The News”, and not, a “Aren’t you glad you’re not Britney” show.

Anyway, six months of banging on about the credit crunch, and now we are all surprised that the financial markets are in turmoil. 
Here is the answer, I say don’t dwell on bad stuff; let me run the news; there would be a lot more skate boarding dogs and kittens up trees.  Come on, think about it, a squirrel that can actually water ski, you don’t see that everyday do you?  Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

September 16th, 2008

Bring back Ashley

Did I hear correctly on Saturday night?  Did a lady (old enough to know better) actually say “It has ruined my whole life”?  It would have been understandable, if she was canoeing through her uninsured house, as a flood victim, but this was “Match of the day”.  The lady in question was giving her “thoughts” concerning the “goings on” at Newcastle United football club.
Listen lady, if I had spent 135 million pounds on Newcastle United football club, I would have Keegan driving me in a golf buggy along the touchline while I shouted the instructions to the players.  Well, maybe not, but I would be sitting on the bench, dressed as a substitute and going on for the last corner every week irrespective of the score line. 
Shouldn’t Ashley have some power?  What ever happened to the Hollywood expression “Money talks, nonsense walks”? 
So, let’s work this out?  Here, is a guy, who has pumped money into the comatosed giant that is Newcastle United, and still, he has no say?  That is like paying for first class on a plane, only to be frog marched to economy to sit next to the flatulent fat guy who is throwing up.

And here’s a thought, if Keegan loves Newcastle so much, why doesn’t he use his influence to recruit millionaire friends to form a consortium to take over the club; at least telephone Niall Quinn and ask him how he did it.

Anyway, that is my opinion; of course I could be wrong.

September 13th, 2008

The God Particle

Being a scientist, I was very excited about last week’s experiment in Switzerland.  I say scientist, I used to teach Science, and also made it to page 11 of “A Brief History in Time”, but I don’t own a Hadron collider.

Why was I excited?  Well, because a previous similar experiment led to the invention of the internet.  So, what is next?  Light energy which costs nothing?  Really, I am not joking; fifty years from now, I am certain, we will have better ways to heat and light our homes; and this will be, as a result from the experiments of September 10th 2008.  And because of the previous experiment I talked of, that statement will be allowed to float around in cyber space to prove me right in the year 2058; unfortunately, I most likely won’t be around to pick up my prize from Prime Minister Brooklyn Beckham.

Anyway, as the particle, the scientists are looking for, has been dubbed the God particle, I wonder if they would be just slightly disappointed if they discovered a very tiny God reading a newspaper and saying “Ah, yer got me, yer clever fellas” (yes, God is Irish).
And I really hope, this over analysing of life’s mysteries, doesn’t come to nothing.  It would be a bit of a set back if they just found another smaller particle, but this time, with no discernable super powers.

I am very hopeful for the experiment, however, I am also very aware of the dangers of over analysing all things, and how beautiful it can be, to just let go; that is, to react naturally without any naval gazing.  For example, on stage, I am always amazed, how great it is to be in the moment. 

Now at this point, if I was on “Thought for Today”, I would probably say something like, “analysing what makes us laugh, is a lot like this experiment in Switzerland”.  I would probably go on and quote the American comedian EB White, who once said, “that, analyzing humour was like dissecting a frog, few people are interested and the frog dies anyway”.
What made me think about this?  Well strangely enough on 10th of September, I had too much time to prepare for a corporate gig and spent too long over analyzing.  The upshot was, not one of my best gigs.
So, as my Granddad used to say, “best not go to the far end of a fart”.  Wise words indeed GD.

As I said, I do hope the experiment is a success, because it would be a shame to spend millions of pounds and after all these years have nothing to show for it.  I live in Newcastle and I can’t think of any other example of such a waste of money with nothing to show for it, can you?

September 5th, 2008

Keegan has left the building

It is so obvious, that, when we are informed by the press, that a football club manager still has his job, what they really mean is, he will be on the golf course next week, without a care in the world.  It is as blatant as, the hackneyed “vote of confidence” call, which translates, “could you go to your office now with a cardboard box”.
I am not doing a blog today; I just didn’t want my last blog to look too out of date, so soon.  It would be really funny if Newcastle went on to win the league.  Anyway, to read what I really think should happen (sarcasm is so difficult to convey in print form, isn’t it?) and also a real solution to the whole debacle, read:

September 3rd, 2008

Keegan has not been sacked

Only in the North East could someone keeping their job, be deemed the most important thing to happen that day.  But this is Newcastle where football is everything, and, believe it or not, that was the headline this morning.  To get that size of headline on the front page our Olympic team had to win a bag full of medals.
This made me think, if we love our football so much, shouldn’t we follow the example of Team GB and join forces.  We should have done this with our national football team a long time ago; think of all the Ryan Giggs’ years we wasted.

Keegan had the right idea years ago when he ran the Great North Run in a shirt made up of half Sunderland and half Newcastle strips.  Yes, I am suggesting that, get over it.  Look, every September (sometimes August) both sets of supporters realise that their teams appearing first on the national sports news is going to be limited to their off the field events only.  Case in question, today’s headline.

So, let’s forget the parochial rivalry between Sunderland and Newcastle and join forces.  Hating each other is ridiculous, and makes about as much sense as punching your neighbour because he lives quite close to you, but not actually in your house.  No one would do that, ok, except Joey Barton, no one would do that.

So I say tear down the overgrown shopping trolley that is SJP, leave the stadium of light as a superior training ground (its’ got a nice new pool) and build a new stadium in between the two superpowers, probably Felling.
Anyway, that is my opinion; of course I could be wrong.

August 23rd, 2008

This is, So, Not a conversation!

Working and travelling around the UK to company event days and functions could be viewed as a lonely business.  However, I am a private person; if you notice, there is not too much about my home life in these blogs.  Anyway, I am often alone, yet, never lonely.

However, it is often a pleasant change to be surrounded by lots of people.
The other night at 3 a.m. we had about twelve people around at the very tidy flat.  Food was unclingfilmed and prepared (oh yes, rock and roll).  Most of the people I knew well, but some, I had just met that evening.
Trapped in the middle of the room perched on the coffee table, I felt strangely disconnected; unusual for me, as I am generally up beat.  No music, no TV, yet still the noise increased.  It was as if, I was the centre piece at a Greek wedding.  Theatrical people can be, how can I put this, oh yes, theatrical, that is the word.  Who was listening to whom?  I couldn’t work out which voice to concentrate on, as everyone was talking.  This is not possible is it?  Finally, after what seemed a long time, Zeb (one of the photographers for the fringe) stood up and verbalised my exact thoughts with a very loud “This is, So, Not a conversation”.  Everyone stopped momentarily, then, proceeded just as loud.  Zeb, with the look of a frustrated supply teacher who was retiring, just shrugged and laughed.
It made a change I suppose, although, it was a bit like a noisy way of not having a conversation in a hotel lounge.

Can you tell it is close to the end of the festival.  I am off on my travels this weekend, firstly, to Knutsford Cheshire, then Newcastle and finally home to my lovely wife. 

August 22nd, 2008

Edinburgh Olympics

I guess that people in the athletics world were already aware of our new heroes of Team GB before the Olympics and even knew they would bring home the medals.  The general public, however, had never heard of these hopefuls, until now.  This is very similar to Edinburgh; the fringe is often described as a bubble. 

Outside of Edinburgh no one cares, so my listing of names and describing shows will mean nothing to you.  OK, some of you are entertainers and stand up comedians who would know, but, here, I have the chance to do a very easy blog, by linking to tinter net.  So, like the lazy parent who pops in “Finding Nemo” for the hundredth time instead of reading to the morbidly obese three year old, here I go.
Did I see anyone famous this year (I saw Tom Hanks last year)?  This year Kevin Spacey and Ray Winstone’s daughter (not together, I am not starting a “Hello” type rumour).  Al Murray (pub landlord) made me laugh in the Pleasance Courtyard with his trilby and pint in each hand; Jimmy Carr also, very nice guy.
Shows I really liked: Daniel Kitson’s shows (his theatre show and his late night show with David O’Doherty and Andy Zaltsman).
Daniel Kitson is famous for being able to deal with anything e.g. once he had a blind man in the audience who called out “you can’t take the piss out of me, I’m blind”.  Without missing a beat Daniel Kitson replied with “If you’re blind, isn’t it a bit selfish to be sat at the front, there are people with eyes who could have sat there, and you could’ve sat at the back”.
You can’t top that, speak to you tomorrow.

August 20th, 2008

location, location, location

After beautiful weather in the South of England, I returned to the very fine rain of Princes Street.  It is a teasing type of rain; it is the type of rain which can make you indecisive about brolly sales.  I did know an umbrella would keep me dry, but, I would have to carry it about all day, and was it really wet enough to spend £9.99 on a cheap one, with Scotland written all over it?  Being a Geordie, I felt buying a red umbrella, in slight dampness, would make my friends think I had had a sexual preference shift.  I decided not to buy.

I made my way to our flat on Guthrie Street in the heart of the old town.  It is the same flat as last year, yet you would never believe it; it is just so tidy this year.  It is a great location for all the venues, however, it does have a downside.  It is just up from Cowgate.  Cowgate is the road which leads out of the grass market and has the seediest bars I have ever seen.  These pubs make the bar in Star Wars look like the Ritz.  And they are all open until 5 a.m. in the morning.  Surely, no one needs a drink at that time of the day, maybe a postman on his way to work.  Read this blog if you are wondering if there is any harm in drinking until this time in the morning.

The other morning at 5:30 I could hear two drunks shouting at each other from opposing sides of the road.  It was as if the road was a river and if they could both just cross they could manifest their verbalised insults about cutting new bottom holes on each other etc. (I cleaned that one up).  The grey granite walls and alleyways of the old town redirected the sound right to my bedroom window.  It was as if Billy Connolly was sitting at the bottom of my bed performing his two drunks swearing routine.  Typical of Edinburgh there is always a show on somewhere during the festival.

August 16th, 2008

Christmas Parties

Well, you will be pleased to know, “The Apprentice Show” was well received last night.  It was perfectly set up, and pitched at the right level for an awards dinner (and naturally, involved absolutely brilliant audio visual technology.  You wouldn’t expect anything less from this company, would you?).  Oh yes, I know how to play the corporate game.
It was a relief, as I had to follow the awards’ ceremony, which had left everyone in a great party mood.  In fact, it reminded me of the best type of Christmas party (you know the sort, lots of laughter, yet no one crying on the stairs, type), which also made me think about, how really busy December will be this year.

I have taken bookings (mainly for London) since March, for Christmas this year; these are the really organised people obviously.  Understandably, August is never the month to think about Christmas parties.  For example, today everyone has a sun tan here in the South of England (look, anything south of Darlington is the South of England, right?); and the football season is just about to start, so no one is thinking about Christmas.  In fact, last night I booked into the fantastic forest pines hotel  just ahead of the Fulham Football team who are playing newly promoted and probably soon to be relegated Hull City (supporting a yo-yo club makes you cynical doesn’t it).

It is interesting, that this year I have received more bookings for my after dinner act at company Christmas parties than I have for my close up magician duties.  This is reassuring, as the bookings are all from word of mouth referrals.  I am starting to realise why so many companies are wishing to hire an after dinner comedian.  My guess is that, television programmes such as “Mock the Week”, “8 out of 10 cats” and this new digital channel Dave (which seems to showcase TV comedians live at the Apollo), is whetting this appetite for live stand up comedy as after dinner stage entertainment.  So, I am thinking, it is more to do with the power of TV, rather than the turning the corner of the recession.  Still, as long as it turns in to a booking, ehh?

August 14th, 2008

You’re hired

Corporate heaven, corporate hell
I am leaving Edinburgh today (I will be back after the weekend) to travel to a number of gigs, the first of which is in North Lincolnshire (The Midland areas are often chosen for their central locations for nationwide company dinners and awards).  In Lincoln, I will be performing for a National A.V. company’s awards dinner .  The directors of the company are also staging the awards on the theme of the TV programme “The Apprentice”. 

Anyway, back to the reviews, last night I saw Rhod Gilbert; very good show.  Some of Rhod’s act outs were bordering on Basil Fawlty at his best.  He seems to be even more manic this year than he was a few years ago in this clip.
In Rhod’s show he mentions how he hates performing at corporate gigs, and his show leads on from there.  I assume he meant the award ceremonies at corporate functions can be very similar, and obviously he uses exaggeration to enhance his comedy story.
I, myself, love the corporate gig.  I agree with Rhod, there is more work to do.  However, with the internet, information about the companies is really easy to find.  So with that extra homework done, the performer can make the whole act look spontaneous; this can lead to memorable gigs.  Still, I am a bit undecided about the Apprentice part of the show.  I assume the contestants will be based on how they perform on the activities part of the day and not actually be fired.  I will look out for black taxis waiting outside. 

August 11th, 2008

Spiked Millican

Ok, enough with the diet tips; let’s face it; I am no more qualified than Doctor Gillian Mckeith, being as, I have a University education, a modicum of common sense and a sanctimonious nature.  I wonder if Mckeith is a real doctor or is she just going through the motions ( III TTHHank you ).  Crap joke (no, please stop me).
So, still up at the festival and enjoying the nonsense of it all.  There seem to be a lot of scary ghost type figures walking the streets this year.  Climbing the many steep narrow stairways in the labyrinth that is the old town late at night, it can be quite frightening to turn a corner and see such a sight.  However, their pasty white faces are not quite as spooky during the day when one of them stops to answer his mobile on the Royal Mile.  I am not even sure if the one I saw was actually in a show or just on a stag night.
Anyway, back to reviews.  I was recently performing at a corporate function in London and afterwards I went on to see the highly praised (Geordie comedian) Sarah Millican doing a 30 minute set at a small comedy club in preparation for this year’s fringe.  It was great to see how much Sarah had improved; this actually means something as she was probably one of the best “open mikers” I have ever seen.  I have yet to see Sarah’s show at this year’s festival but I do know it is getting some great reviews and I am sure she will easily win the best newcomer award this year.  I have been on the panel of judges for the awards and I know what they are looking for, and Sarah will tick all the boxes.
Sarah got into comedy after the sad loss of her marriage.  Wallowing would have been pointless, yet wallowing and talking about it to a group of strangers proved to be just the ticket.  This begs the question what are valid topics (in this case targets) for comedy.  The answer of course is anything and everything.  Sarah talking about her divorce is the equivalent of Chris Rock having a go at us white people.  So, is it years of oppression overturned or just the flip side to Jim Davidson’s dig at his wives and chalky white.  You decide, all I know is you should travel up to Edinburgh now and book a ticket for Sarah Millican’s not nice

Don performs as a wedding magician, corporate entertainer, and after dinner speaker at events throughout the country. London Magician, Manchester Magician, Liverpool Magician, Birmingham Magician, Newcastle Upon Tyne Magician, Magician Surrey, Edinburgh Magician, Oxford Magician, Bristol Magician, Magician Milton Keynes, Leicester Magician, Leeds Magician, Magician Kent.